He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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