He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
