I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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