that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
