so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just fell off a train. Bad.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
