I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
