So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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