so explain again why im purple
no
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
