Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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