no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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