Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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