With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
