have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
