absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
