At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
