turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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