Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
