I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
