Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
