I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
