whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
