On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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