Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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