Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
