yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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