Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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