Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
operation harelip BJ is a go
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
