Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
