you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
