There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
