I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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