And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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