I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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