He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
