have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
