Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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