is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
