Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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