Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
