I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
