Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My dick has a subreddit
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
