...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
God, I missed his penis.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
