just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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