break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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