I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
