When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
