K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
