i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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