guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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