shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
